très jason

Super manly glue gun... obviously not mine.

I’ve been doing a lot of projects lately that could (frighteningly) be called “crafts,” which scares me. Granted they’re all very contemporary, modern and fabulous, but anytime I’m using a glue gun or sewing machine, it scares me.

Speaking of sewing machines, ever since I gave away the $8 million Project Runway contraption (because I couldn’t even get through the first few pages of the manual and Russ couldn’t figure out how to thread it- a common challenge, I’ve since discovered), I’ve been regretting it. So, rather than wallow in my own pity drinking my tears for sustenance (which clearly I was doing), I decided to buy a new one.

For $25.

Oh yeah- it’s one step up from the As Seen On TV hand sewers, but it’s a very small step. The box it came in is about the size of a shoe box – but shorter – and I’m scared to open it. I think it’s a mini-me sewing machine; exactly the same as a regular one, just shrunken. (I’d make a few jokes here about the Lollipop Guild, etc., but that would be insensitive, and we wouldn’t want that.) Luckily I’ve got my grandma’s hands, so I’m hoping the small size – and what’s billed to be an incredibly simple operation – will work for the few simple things I need- like sewing a tube of velvet to cover the cord of the lamp that I’m currently building.

Yep- I’m finally getting around to making my version of one of the insanely large (and even more insanely expensive) crystal column chandeliers like the ones hanging in Planet Hollywood in Vegas. (Similar to the one pictured here; that one’s Swarovski, and – I believe – hanging in their NY flagship store.) I’ve loved them since the first time I went and after seeing them a few months ago when I went to see Peepshow on a press trip, I decided it was time. Rather than buy one for (upwards of) $5,000 I’m going to make my own. I found a (fabulous!) website – ShopWildThings.com – which sounds like a clearinghouse for “ladies – or gentlemen – of the night,” but is in fact a fabulous online shop for beaded curtains, chandeliers and other blinged-out party decor of all sorts. I spent less than $100 on a beaded curtain, which together with my salad bowl from Target, Home Depot shop light and glue for the glue gun, will probably set me back about $150. Much better than five grand I think.

No guarantees of how it’s going to turn out obviously, but so far so good. Fortunately for you (or maybe not) I bribed Russ into taking photos and video of the whole process so that I can write a story about it for EDGE and hopefully embed a video, which will be available on the site and through YouTube.

Anyway, look for that story, update, and video soon. Now I’ve got to go work on my DIY Louis Vuitton laptop sleeve… let’s pray I don’t mess that up- that would be a very expensive mistake…